I have been missing my little dog Clyde a lot lately.Yes, I have my sweet Benny now but I feel like Things were unfinished with Clyde.I remember having to leave him with my parents because I was homeless.My sister let me sleep on her couch and would not allow dogs.I could not stay at my parents house because my brother would beat me and fights would arise.My family had always tried to seperate me from my dog.I worked very hard and many hours to get him.He was ill and almost died the first night I had him.I think that is why we had such a strong bond.I stayed up through the night caring for him.I had someone who made me feel loved.He loved me back and always knew when I needed him,even before I knew.After about 3 years of having him I had a complete nervous,and emotional breakdown.I was unable to work and had to leave my job.I was also unable to pay my rent and was forced to take the last of my money and by a plane ticket.I went to stay with my eldest sister down in Florida.Because Clyde was a purebred my parents and brother told me to sell him.If I did that would not be enough money to live,And he was my only companion.I never felt any bond with my family,and my brother was angry that Clyde made me happy.He always tryed to hurt him I would cover his tiny body with my own to stop the blows.Sometimes when my brother was beating me Clyde would try to protect me putting his body in front of me.I hated being afraid of what might happen each second.They lived in the same apartment complex as us so I could not get away from that brat of a brother..I had my Clyde the clothes on my back and a small gym type bag with the only things I could take.I left a lot of important things behind but I was happy to have my little friend with me.Florida turned out to be a bad idea.I ended up getting a slummy apartment where I could hear the neighbors beating each other and drug dealing outside my bedroom window.I could hear them leaning next to the window glass,I even heard some shots outside my window.After my breakdown I was all nerves and everything was freaking me out.The police would not come when called,they said that it was normal for the area.They never once checked up on it.All of my disability was paying my rent and electric.I barely had 60 dollars to spred through the month to feed Clyde and myself.I went hungry sometimes for weeks and would go up to the gas mart up the street with what little I had and buy things like spam and vienna sausages just to feed my dog.On the way back I would stop at the subway and use there bathroom to get us tolit paper.That is how I lived for 6 months.
During this time my mother would call me and tell me about all the wonderful things in ny that she could help me get set up with(mental health services,housing,etc.) After a time It sounded really good.She said I could stay with a friend of the family for the couple of months while it all happened.I knew what I was living was no life.I did not pay my last months rent and insted used it to by a ticket to ny.I really thought things would be better.My sister had been threatining to put me in a institution and have Clyde taken from me.She did not like that I was not at her beck and call for babysitting her 2 rowdy kids.I struck up a friendship of convenience with a woman around the area and got a ride to the airport.When I finally arrived in ny after flight issues my mom informed me she had never asked the friend to have me stay.I had no where to sleep that night.I eventually ended up going back and forth between sleeping on my parents concrete floor with no more then a flat old pillow and a throw blanket,and sleeping on my sisters couch.To make a long story short I was homeless for 2-3 years.Yes I would have a roof over my head but that was it.All of my disability would go for food and paying my sister to sleep on her couch.I would talk to Clyde in those last days of being with him,promising we would get a place and have a fresh start.I never knew he would not be there when I did.I remember the first night in my apartment.It was supposed to be him and me together,I failed him.
Then I met Benny..... (to be continued)
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